I went on stage last night at the Astor. 300 seats, nearly all full. Eight trainees in the back row, two directors a few ahead. Three vets backstage; two for the whole show and one to take my place. Wardrobe, props, sound, lights, the whole deal. Everybody warm and supportive.
Our training tech was on Monday. It consisted of running through the pieces we learned but without full makeup. It was extremely rough, and once we were done I didn't stop stressing about it until about 6:00 last night, when I got to the theater to start warming up.
Warm-ups: bike shorts, mantard, basketball shorts, t-shirt, in-ear monitors, boots. Sound check on stage to run a few pieces and practice catching and chair-walking. Done with sound check around 7:00.
Down to Wardrobe to get the bald cap on. Alcohol clean, two layers of glue, cap, more glue, PAX. Circle meeting at 7:30 with the whole cast and crew. Upcoming shows, an open apartment, a trivia question. Back to Wardrobe to get blue and finish the costume. Up to the stage at 8:00. We get our cue to get behind the curtained box on stage and set up what we need for the top of the show.
Scrim, Paint Drumming, P&C. The first three pieces happen too quickly to register. I make all three of my catches and my spin painting turns out great. Back offstage to wait. GiPads, Crunch, Screen Hopping. Modern Plumbing video starts and I'm ready to go back on.
Drumbone, Feast Picking, Feast. Again, it all happens so quickly that it's like I never learned the blocking in the first place. Feast ends and I get off stage. Back down to Wardrobe to scrub and tear and rip my way out of the costume and makeup until I see myself in the mirror again. I'm too rough getting the makeup off of my eyelids and there's a red patch that burns on each one.
Leave the theater. Get on the subway. Get off the subway. Walk to my apartment, collapse, shower, get on pajamas and go to another trainee's apartment to play Mario Kart, drink a few beers, and have a good hang. It's really a great group of guys.
The past week-and-a-half and my experience here in New York has been a fireworks show. Illuminative, explosive, intense, bright...and brief.
At my post-swap meeting this morning, the directors told me that I would not be continuing with the training program because I'm not where I need to be on the acting level. It's something I felt on the very first day of training, so after everything I've been feeling and working through since then, I knew that this was going to happen. The directors acknowledged that I've been working hard and that the ethic is there, but this just isn't a good fit for me as a performer. I can't argue that at all. On a superficial level, I really thought that it was, but after getting inside of it I realized that this is a planet away from what I'm capable of doing right now.
So here I am. I'm in town until Monday. I'll probably explore the city and make the most of the ton of free time I now have. Even though I half-expected this outcome from the beginning and I prepared myself for it, nothing softens the blow of a year-and-a-half buildup collapsing after less than two weeks. I also have the distinction of being the first guy cut from the training class, which I'm not particularly proud of.
The next chapter of my life starts now, and I really don't know what that entails. I guess I need to find a job.
I am so proud of you! What an amazing Life experience you've had. Just opening new doors, my wondrous nephew ♥
ReplyDeleteWhat an adventure you have had! Yes, up & down and sideways and waiting -- many lessons along the way as you've grown and mastered skills. It has been a pleasure observing the journey you've been on, Thank You for letting us go along! As this adventure winds down, time to take a deep breath, ponder & reflect on what you have learned and how you have grown - and what opportunities are open to you now, for there is always a purpose/reason for all you've been through. Hmmmmmm . . . . any drummer/percussionist doors opening there? :)
ReplyDeleteWow Craig! What an experience! God Bless you on your next adventure. We are all proud of you. ( your mother is bursting her seems ) :D
ReplyDeleteCraigy, I am so proud of you - you followed a dream that many of us haven't. I know the intense pressure that you have been under but then again, you got to go on stage at the Astor. I have fervently prayed for you since you got to New York and that God's will and protection be upon you. Craigy, no matter what you do in your chosen career, I will love you just as I have since the day you were born.
ReplyDeleteUncle Dick
Craig,
ReplyDeleteYou've worked harder and gone farther than 99.9% of the folks who have ever seen the Blue Men, not to mention the ones who dreamed of becoming one. Perhaps it will take some time, but some day you will reap the benefits of your labor. You already have a deeper appreciation for the performers you hoped to join. Later on, you may find something from this experience that will spark your creative energies and lead you to the rewarding work in the arts that you desire. Until then, my friend, open your mind to the possibilities and enjoy the ride. All the best, Uncle Bob Stilwell : )
Craig!
ReplyDeleteJust got all caught up on the blog and your experience. If there is anything that I've learned it's that every time you get a no, it's just setting you up for what you should really be doing. The flailing around in between the no and what happens next can be super frustrating - and it's how you deal with that frustration that says the most about your quality of spirit. I'm sorry to hear that after all the waiting, that the door has been closed, but I have to tell you - what's next (tomorrow, next month, next year) will all be absolutely worth the wait. You have gifts that you aren't aware of yet, and the adventure is even greater because of the unknown.
Hugs, and love, and encouragement, and excitement to hear what happens next for you!
Erin